Summer is approaching again, and I am not looking forward to it.

Summer is the worst of the seasons. I don't find hot weather enjoyable, and I don't understand why so many people do. There is nothing fun about tan lines, clothes and seats sticking to you, being menaced by wasps and flies and mosquitoes, putting on sunscreen so your skin doesn't get fried, drinking water constantly so you don't collapse, being roasted alive in your car, or navigating crowds of sweaty orange people in ill-fitting tank tops. Additionally, I have dark hair, so bright sunlight feels like it's grilling the top of my head, and I am short-sighted, so I have to put up with scorched eyeballs until I can afford prescription sunglasses.

I live in the UK. It's humid and most buildings don't have AC, which makes hot summers even more hellish. Despite this, for reasons I cannot comprehend, people here still get excited about heatwaves. Few things make me feel more alienated from my fellow countrymen than their assertions that 30°C weather is 'lovely' and perfect for outdoor activities. I start getting uncomfortable at 25°. Why would I want to go outside when stepping out my door feels like stepping into the antechamber of hell, and even sitting still is tiring?

I struggle to come up with reasons as to why popular opinion favours hot weather. Are most people more masochistic than I thought? Is it because people want an excuse to walk around half naked? Is it the result of a massive psyop by sunscreen and swimwear companies?

For me, the best season is spring. Spring is perfect. It's warm enough that you don't need more than two layers of clothing, but cool enough that you don't sweat. There are flowers everywhere, and the sun shines, but doesn't sear. Being outside is far more enjoyable in spring than in summer because temperatures are tolerable and the risk of sunburn, dehydration and exhaustion is low. All 'summer activities' are more fun in spring. Except going to the beach, which is never fun for someone like me who dislikes swimming and prefers clothes without sand.

Winter isn't too bad. The sun stays out of the way, and I find the cold refreshing. I've always found it exciting to observe the shortening of days (as well as their lengthening when winter ends).

I have a high tolerance for cold, so I don't need to wear much in winter to be comfortable. (My parents are the opposite, so when I was a kid I would be scolded frequently for not wearing enough, and forced to put on more layers so I wouldn't 'catch cold'.) I'm also not averse to cold showers, drinks or food during winter. People who call me weird for eating ice cream all year round perplex me. In fact, I daresay summer is sub-optimal for ice cream. The hot weather gives you little time to enjoy it before melting it into an unappetising sticky mess.

There are two things I dislike about winter. The first is that the cold dries out my skin and my hands end up cracked and bleeding in new places every day. The second is snow.

It (fortunately) doesn't snow often or heavily where I live, and as a result of this the tiniest flake makes people go berserk. I remember being in secondary school, watching my whole physics class stampede towards the windows because someone mentioned snow, which bemused me. The last time I felt excited about snow, my age had one digit. It didn't take me long to figure out that snow is immensely overrated. It looks good for at most a couple of hours before turning into disgusting greyish-brown slush. Furthermore, it's a nuisance at best and dangerous at worst. It has to be laboriously cleared away to make roads usable and prevent general infrastructural hell — something no one here is competent enough to do efficiently. Why on earth do people want more of the stuff? If that happened, the country would shut down.

Autumn shares many benefits with spring. The only downside is the carpets of dead leaves, which can be ugly and annoying, but not nearly as aggravating as snow.

I mentioned that I live in the UK, so I guess I'm obligated to bitch about the rain. Honestly, I don't care. I'd much rather have rain than snow or infernal heat.

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