I don't drink. I never have and probably never will. I never wanted to, and I doubt that will change.

If you're going to try to persuade me to ingest something that is a neurotoxin, smells like death, makes you puke, disorientates you, cripples your judgement, gives you hangovers, is potentially addictive, and can cause poisoning and organ damage, let alone spend money to do so, you'd better have a damn good pitch. No one I've encountered has been able to provide one.

I find the idea of purposely diminishing one's self-awareness perplexing. I've embarrassed myself many times due to a lack of self-awareness and judgement, and I still cringe and feel regret recalling those incidents now. Why would I willingly induce a state of recklessness, especially when it's likely that whatever dumb shit I do will be posted online so scores of people can laugh at me, possibly for years to come since nothing can be erased from the internet?

People who think that turning themselves into disorientated morons is fun baffle me. The only pleasant emotion that stories about drunk people throwing up on each other or falling asleep on the ground or pissing themselves or dancing topless on tables or having sex with random strangers instil in me is schadenfreude and thoughts of 'thank god that's not me'. This song was huge when I was a kid, and I found the music video, which I presume was meant to be silly, anxiety-inducing.

I value lucidity and control over myself. I have never been able to understand why losing control and 'letting go' are considered positives by so many people. Why would anyone want to lose, even temporarily, their capabilities, their capacity for reason or their awareness of their surroundings? For me, that would be frightening. (I often wonder: do most people secretly dislike consciousness and autonomy?) Besides, disinhibiting and disorientating yourself makes you immensely vulnerable. I for one don't want to increase my chances of getting in a fight, injured, or sexually assaulted. I think that society's perception of getting drunk as a fun 'adult'¹ activity, that kids look forward to being able to do, is dystopian, as is the apparent perspective of many people as young as 14 that alcohol is necessary for parties and other social events.

So far I've only talked about drunkenness, and I suppose many readers are saying 'you know, it's possible to drink in moderation'.

The main appeal of moderate alcohol use seems to be that it makes you more sociable and outgoing. I am fine with being an introvert. While I don't like social events, I rarely need to attend them, and I don't care about being popular. I have nothing in common with most people who go to parties. The best friends I've made, I met elsewhere.

I don't want to get drunk, and I don't want to be more extroverted. Why, then, would I drink alcohol? For the taste? I can't imagine that anything that smells that bad would taste good. The hordes of drinkers who insist that it's an 'acquired taste' just discourage me more — firstly, people say the same thing about coffee, which I tried once and never want to taste again; and secondly, I can't think of a single instance where I 'acquired' a taste for any drink/food. And even if some alcoholic drinks taste great, I just don't think I'm missing out, as I already enjoy many non-alcoholic drinks.

¹I've always seen heavy drinking for fun as immature.

<<